painJune 2, 2009
The fact that I just dated this entry ‘April 2’ and then didn’t see why that was wrong shows just how much I DON’T believe it is now June. What? Where did this year go? Unbelievable.
I went on a field trip today. Not on purpose; totally unexpected, actually. The 5th graders are currently all (minus E) on a bus coming back from the Bronx Zoo, and I almost got to go with them, but then there were no seats. Mega-bummed. But I read the daily this morning, and saw that the 6th grade had this thing called, “Project Safeguard”. So I went to Larry, the 6th grade teacher, to clarify what that meant, if they went to the MS or if the MS came to them, and what time they were going, because I work with 2 6th graders in the PM. He tells me that it’s an all day trip, leaving at 9 (5 minutes from the conversation), and oh yeah, A is supposed to be going, too. He’s registered and everything. NO ONE TELLS US ANYTHING.
Not a terrible day. He did pretty well at breakfast and with the half-hour keynote speaker, though we needed to go on a 5-7 minute walk. I was okay with that. NOT okay with him pulling gum out from under the table and playing with it/attempting to eat it, OR the fact that I had to hold someone else’s chewed gum in my hand to keep him from doing so. BLECH. What a strange part of the job that was. Then we went to cooperative activities in the gym.
Liz the lifeguard was one of the women running it. For a change, she was nice to me. Maybe now that she’s seen me as a ‘grownup’ and not a counselor at camp, she likes me? Who knows. Either way, A did a good job except for a few minutes when he was ‘too hot’ and the like. I got him back up, and overall, he had some fun. The issue came when we went to our second workshop, Aikido martial arts. WHO SIGNED HIM UP FOR MARTIAL ARTS?!?! WTF!?!? This is a big boy, who has no patience, supremely under-developed fine AND gross motor skills… someone set him up for failure. We didn’t even make it through the stretches. He kept SCREAMING out in pain, begging for the torture to stop, gave up, laying on the grass… and meanwhile, non-BSE 6th graders were there, and they didn’t know him or what to expect or what to do, so they either stared, gave dirty looks, or snickered. I’m so nervous for him to be there next year; those kids, and the older ones…are going to eat him alive. Awful. It actually makes me sick thinking about it. Why do we have to make a huge deal out of people’s weirdnesses? Why do they matter? Why do we think it’s okay to laugh at someone in that way?
After we left martial arts, we ran into Dot, the amazing woman who schedules pretty much every program throughout the district, and she told us about this Math Mania place we could go because it wasn’t populated. He did pretty well there, playing some logic game and trying to build a tower out of marshmallows and toothpicks. Lunch went okay; some more looks from those who do not know A as well as the rest of us, but overall, not so bad. I got to see Kyle P, Sam O, Sklyar (who is HUGE now; holy cow, he might be 7 feet tall, easily 6'5!), and some others who I know. On our way to his last thing after lunch, which Skylar was helping to lead (it was a Q&A session), I ran into Ben Chase’s long-haired friend I met a few weeks ago. Forgot his name, but while A was in the bathroom, he provided acceptable conversation. Then A’s meeting proved to be too boring, so we left the room (twice!) and I found Dot to tell her we were probably going to call Parker to come get us, but she said no and got Robin P to take us instead. Rest of day was eh; he had a tantrum against SS, and E had a little bit of an attitude, but overall, good afternoon. Then on my walk home at 3:50, I got accosted by D! We talked for a good 20 minutes, and it was really nice; I love him. I hope he’s back soon, even if it isn’t this week like he wants.
On my walk to work today, I saw Zoom (Tenzin). I usually see her waiting for her bus, but today we were in town at the same time, so we walked and talked a bit, and I didn’t like her a few summers ago, but she’s grown up quite a bit, and I enjoyed our talk together. Then during my walk with A around the building, we found the trophy case and the plaques of talent passed. And there they were; 3 or 4 little silver markings with Sam’s name on them. That was hard; seeing his name, knowing I was in his old school, knowing that the locker A was fidgeting with might have once upon a time been home to his books. Lord, unfair how much I miss you, Sammy. I really do feel and see you all around me.
