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A thought for the day... Reading Trump’s inaugural speech I noticed something. He used the…
9 hrs ago / @rv1501 +
Team Spirit There’s still about 5 weeks left in the 22 week training period at my new job. It’s…
 I like this x 1
9 hrs ago / @c4fine13u22 +
(no subject)

So a few of days ago I deleted Facebook from my phone. I didn’t delete my account or anything but honestly I knew I was checking it too often and just being too dependent on it. The first 2 days, it was a bit disturbing how many times I would just grab my phone to check my facebook. It was literally like muscle memory where if I had just a few seconds, I’d grab it quick to go through my newsfeed. I don’t even want to guess how many times a day I was checking it!


I still check it once a day on my computer for a very short amount of time but you know what? I don’t miss it! Which is shocking. I love to stay on top of the gossip lol, but I recognized it wasn’t healthy. I also kind of got to the point of where I was wondering – am I doing this for me because I want to, or am I doing it so that people think I’m cool? And I know that sounds awful, but I think that if most people were honest with themselves, they’d agree it’s the same way. (like, the pumpkin patch – are you going b/c you legitimately love freaking apple cider that you can buy at the store, or is it for a photo op?) If you couldn’t post about it (whatever “it” is) on Facebook, would you still do it? And I’m not knocking anyone who does do something for a photo op, or someone who does check their Facebook constantly, I just know that for me I focus too much on what other people are doing, or what other people think. I’m trying to be more mindful. I’m trying to live my life for me, and to just be more present. 


I don’t know how long I’ll keep it deleted, but so far I feel so much happier :)


12 hrs ago / @chel2thec +
black and white isn't always black and white. Guys. I’m going to bring up a topic that I know…
 I like this x 3I like this x 3I like this x 3Have a Bear x 1Love x 3Love x 3Love x 3
3 days ago / @almost23 +
Campus Outbreak This evening has been insane. A few friends and I were supposed to get together to…
 OMG x 1
yesterday / @neonite +
(no subject) what a beautiful thing to find someone who deeply, genuinely cares about you and wants to take care of…
20 hrs ago / @americancer +
Utilitarianism I follow the Trolley Problem Meme on Facebook. For those unaware, it’s a…
 I like this x 2I like this x 2
3 days ago / @calculus +
Time Series Analysis

So, I’m in this Recent Developments in Statistics course, and we’re doing Time Series Analysis for the semester.  They did it two years ago or so with a different professor, and they did a different topic last year.

These sorts of courses, these "Recent Developments,” these Seminars, these Special Topics—they’re very disjointed in not having any real prerequisites.  This is a good thing because people of all backgrounds can get in (mostly those Statistics majors who need another class to satisfy hour requirements, where our Stats department is really lacking).

Unfortunately, we’re an experiment, wherein our professor is trying to turn his notes into a textbook.  Some prerequisites are extremely mathematical (which, for our school, our statistics students are not), and we also need a pretty thorough knowledge of different distributions.

We just got our first homework assignment on Tuesday.  It has 9 problems.  The last two require the use of MATLAB, and the first of those is a pretty simple, straightforward “just do this, make a graph, create a function” that I’m sure I’ll learn how to do once I get myself willing to install MATLAB.  The other problem will require some particular programming technique that I’m sure we’ll go over next Tuesday.

The other seven problems, however, we’ve officially learned how to do them, and man-oh-man, are they a nightmare.

Two typos that, without the corrections, make two problems impossible, and I must have spent about 5 or 6 hours trying to crunch through them.

The nice thing is that every single problem had the exact same first few steps.  If you knew how to set it up, you could at least get that far in all of them (which, admittedly, was about 30% of the problem).  Time consuming and tedious, but it’s there.  The rest is all just “statistical algebraic” manipulation.  Algebraic manipulation means you use certain rules you learned in algebra, like factoring out a common factor (the reverse distributive property) or cancellation of numerators and denominators because of exponents or the like.  Statistical algebraic manipulation is the same, only you’re using your stats rules (like how expectation is linear, so E[aX+Y] = aE[X] + E[Y] ).  But you’re typically doing these things twice because you’re doing it on a time series, so you’re doing it on Cov[big function for now, same big function but from earlier].

Eventually you’re done doing statistical algebraic manipulation and just using normal algebraic manipulation (advanced algebraic manipulation, like cos(x) = +/-1 if x is a multiple of pi).  And we’re doing this all on very, very demanding functions.

No, sir!  First homework, testing out our rules on a few basic functions like aX+Y and then ramping up our skills on harder problems?  Naw, let’s just dive into the hard ones.

So once again I’m in a class that’s consuming a great deal of time.  I keep thinking I’m done with these, but then I wind up in a class that I go “Oh, that’s neat.  I bet that’d be interesting and useful” and regretting it.  I was only supposed to have two more that would take up my time, and thanks to this debacle, I’ve extended it to three.

Oh, well.  I have to fulfill my Stats minor somehow.  I have to take 4 classes in Stats for a minor, and this is my 2nd one.  I plan on topping it off with Multivariate Methods and then maybe some dumb class I can ace because Multivariate, Time Series, and Regression Analysis are the only three useful stats courses for me given where I will likely wind up.  Ideally I can get into Introduction to Spatial Statistics (a split-level grad/undergrad course with a lab) because that would also be quite useful for me (particularly the kriging).  If not, I’ll just take Linear Models or Nonparametric Stats because whatever I’ll be done with it.


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3 days ago / @calculus +
A thought for the day... the END of an era... Na na na na, na na na na, hey hey, goodbye Na na na na,…
yesterday / @rv1501 +
(no subject)
yesterday / @almost23 +
I don't mess around, guys. When this girl makes up her mind, this girl makes up her mind. …
 Have a Bear x 1
3 days ago / @almost23 +
Brian in mixed reality My first experiment into Mixed Reality:
 Cool beans x 1
4 days ago / @dustball +
A thought for the day... ONE MORE DAY!!
2 days ago / @rv1501 +
Dog roast for dinner??! :( :( :( About 10 yrs ago, a co-worker (an animal activist) introduced me to the…
 I like this x 1
2 days ago / @chri +
Chantix Dreams

I started Chantix. One of the side effects is very vivid dreams.


They certainly have been vivid. I want to record them and how messed up they are.


So the setting of the first one was in one of our local villages. Think like a Bond movie when they are watching the parade from a two story building, downtown. But the room we’re in is dilapidated. Parade goes by, and I turn around to walk across the room to the stairs. I trip and fall. I try to get up but the wood floor keeps giving when i try to push myself up. I finally make it to the stair and head downstairs. This next scene is pretty symbolic. I’ll explain why in a moment. So i come down stairs and the room opens up into a nice ‘abandoned warehouse turned chic open air lounge room’. Sitting around the room, are men from around where I live. Like some of the big names. They’re all super judgmental about the guy I’m with. (We’re going on a date this weekend IRL). 

No one said anything, I could  just tell by the looks on their face.


That was the end of that one.


Last night was just as insane. 

Last week, because my dog is a salty bitch and I had yelled at him for getting in the trash, while I was getting ready for work, he peed on my bed. 

THANK THE BABY JEEBUS I have a fully made up bed. I had a flat sheet, fitted sheet, mattress pad, mattress protector on, so it barely  got damp, but in a very small area, less than 6” in diameter. 


Anyway, Last night, I dreamed I was laying in my room. I hurried to get out of bed for a knock at the door, and he had peed again in my bed. 


Then I woke up.

I actually had to check my sheet. 


** guy i’m going out with, he is older. LIke 45. I’m 25. At this rate, I don’t feel like it matters thattt much, because I’m an adult. He’s an adult. He’s never been married, no kids, so he doesn’t have the normal baggage someone his age would have. He’s really nice. So we’ll see. 


 I like this x 1
2 days ago / @bandgeek24 +
2 days ago / @bandgeek24 +
Disdain I have trouble ending things. Bad jobs. Bad internships. Bad relationships. …
2 days ago / @divine +
(no subject) you know those questions like…… “If you could know when your last day on…
2 days ago / @almost23 +
Community Poll If you earned a liberal art’s degree, what was your degree in and what was first job…
2 days ago / @divine +
My Oneiric Third Way Politcs?

I have quite active dreams from roughly 3 a.m. to 5 a.m., after which I typically wake (but *do not* bake). “The Oneiric” is of or relating to dreams or the dream-state. As Freud and Jung told us, dreams have symbolic significance, and they also reformulate ideas and concepts in the front of our minds. (Likely neuroscience would say this is literally true, as we think up ideas analytically in the front part of our brains.)

To the point: I had a dream that I was a former Donald J. Trump hater who had come around and switched sides and was one of the people serving in the Trump Administration. To think! My sense in the dream was that Donald was barely interested in matters of policy. It was quite difficult to keep the man on task when it came to specific policy matters. He behaved as an incorrigible ruffian, sort of like a sailor back on land. Being around the man was something like a perpetual social party.

He was excitable, with a gregarious nature and got all of his energy from being the center of attention. Trump’s current focus was all of the new “toys” that were at his disposal in his capacity as President. He had created a unique sleep chamber made out of wood and formed for his body that supplied him with extra oxygen, the purpose of which was to stave off the effects of aging.

The Donald J. Trump public persona was far away. In person there was none of the Twitter shenanigans or defensiveness of his recent press conference. Like an animated professor he was focused on talking about “cool stuff,” which was how my dream-mind put it. He relished altering the look of his face to communicate surprise, confusion, disdain, elation, and the range of human emotions. He cared for little other than being the center of attention in this way, and bringing people to him made him quite happy.

My working for his Administration put me in an odd position in my social circle. People were concerned that I had “joined the cult” so to speak, but there was a true energy to working for Trump. He was honestly dumbfounded at the level of animus people directed toward him. He would do or say things and then have no recollection of it. My position was as a sort of communications professional, and I just found this to be a fun challenge.

Trump was definitely at the center of things. He looked at Republicans and Democrats in a sort of non-partisan way. (I remember now how he spoke positively about the Sanders campaign during the race.) He sort of didn’t understand partisan politics, as if he had never really looked into it. This was refreshing, although he saw the Republicans as more allied with him and his ideas.

Does this dream mean something about my politics? I don’t think so, but I’m glad that I can work out unsettled ideas in oneiric form. I don’t fear a Trump presidency because he doesn’t have a particular grand plan to put in place. He has a short attention span, and he revels in the attention the job garners. In the dream, and in his real life I am led to believe, he has truck-sized blind spots in his perspective mostly due to his narcissism, but he’s not by nature a cruel or cynical person. He likes having fun, and his delusions of grandeur -- unlike nearly all of us -- were so big and that he put them into action, and his election to the highest office in the land was the result.

On the WTF podcast with Marc Maron, Bruce Springsteen spoke about how for the rock star, the star’s need for gratification from crowds has to be larger than his fear. In my dream with a version of Donald Trump, I met a man who had no fear and a complete need for gratification from crowds and the media.

So will go the next four years.


 I like this x 1
5 days ago / @schencka +
(no subject) I found out that when Pam gets really mad she cries, just like me.
2 days ago / @deeterz +
(no subject) When you're joking about your wedding but you're also kind of serious. When you know you knkw
 Love x 1
6 days ago / @americancer +
(no subject)
3 days ago / @mel674 +
A thought for the day... TWO MORE DAYS!!
3 days ago / @rv1501 +
(no subject) I know it’s so cliche to say that time goes fast, but SERIOUSLY HOW IS IT THE MIDDLE OF JANUARY…
 I like this x 1
6 days ago / @chel2thec +
Unity 3D Tutorial Want to learn Unity 3D? I made a beginner tutorial today: Download Unity…
3 days ago / @dustball +

so, today is the first time i have missed tim in a week or so. sometimes i get angry at him, but rarely am i actually missing him...right now, i miss having the ability to text him, and share my happiness with someone who legitimately seemed to enjoy it. i really felt like he had a fantastic foundation for genuine compersion and nonmonogamy. i mean, he probably still does have those things, it just won't be as part of my polycule. 

john and maria are at a brewery right now, having drinks. i'm jumping out of my skin with excitement-fueled anxiety. i want to keep texting both of them lol but i can't. that would be quite intrusive. so i really wish i could text someone who could comprehend how i feel right now, how pleased and nervous and full of compersion i am. 


3 days ago / @morte +
Google BS Just finally finished my FAFSA. I’m kicking myself for not doing it earlier. It was so…
4 days ago / @divine +
Run With It So I keep thinking about this so I wanted to write about it to get it out of my system I…
4 days ago / @divine +
Eight vs the rest of the world According to the latest calculation, eight people—mostly American…
5 days ago / @jacksez +
Successful Sunday Walked to get coffee with a neighbor friend and discovered that she both needed and…
5 days ago / @Wishes +
Thoughts on Stuff - Cellular Communication Devices...

Who would have ever dreamed it possible that during my life time I would have the ability to create documents on my phone? Not just mere words, but proofread and corrected words…


Whence I was but a wee lad telephones were single purpose items whose only use was to communicate to someone who was not within shouting or visual distance. And the telephones I first encountered and was permitted to use had rotary dials that needed to be manually turned to select the numbers required to place the call. And even before getting into the physical process of making a call, one had to know what the number was. There was a time when I would estimate I had 20 seven digit numbers memorized with less frequently needed numbers written down and stored for safe keeping. Great tomes were provided to acquire more numbers – thousands upon thousands of numbers organized by location and alphabetized by last name. The days of memorization of these numbers has long since ended and in many situations the actual viewing of this number is no longer required…


Though I shall get back to the subject I started out speaking upon and that was creating words upon what was once a single-purpose item. The youth of today have no grasp or understanding of the changes that have occurred over the 50 years of my existence. In 1988, I purchased my first computer – no hard drive, 128k of ram, monochrome monitor in the most amazing shade of green anyone had ever seen. The cellular communication device I purchased yesterday has more computational power and storage than the sum of all the computers I have owned or built (being that I built custom systems through the 90s) during a 20 year stretch of my digital life. The display is far better than anything I owned up to maybe 5 years ago. And this is all in a phone…


This cellular communication device is roughly equivalent to my laptop in terms of power, performance, and display quality. All this in a device that fits into my pocket and can travel with me anywhere I go. And I can document all my travels in pictures, sound, and words and share all of this to everyone on this planet. ‘Tis amazing how far we come as a species in such a short time, and I have been alive to witness it all firsthand…


And these are the thoughts within my head on this day…


5 days ago / @weesaul +

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