Public Posts on MindSay
MindSay was a popular blogging site around 2003 - 2006. MindSay is preparing to relaunch itself this year, in 2016.
MindSay's mission is to enable the writer within ourselves.
Our community is not currently accepting new members, but check back soon. Wubalubadubdub!
The lady (who I’m having issues with) and I ended up going to the Comedy Show together after my friend pulled out. She told me about some VERY personal stuff going on in her life and then I felt compelled to tell her some. I may have been played...I realize that. Either (1) she did that to get dirt on me or (2) she did that so that I would be lenient toward her when the group has our “mediation” session regarding her issues affecting the group. I’m probably the softie of the group when it comes to her even though I’m as fed up as everyone else.
I NEVER meet girls I like, but in the span of 3 days I met 2 girls I was attracted to. Both of them had girlfriends who were with them when I met them but they weren’t juxtapositioned in a way where I could tell they were coupled up. So I didn’t know until I asked about them. In one of those cases, the person I asked was the girl I was attracted to’s girlfriend. :| Yeah...so that sucks.
Other than a few text messages between Crush and I, we haven’t seen each other in weeks. The only reason we even texted this week was because he put some depressive shit on his Tumblr and I wanted to make sure he was okay. We texted a little. The next morning he sent the usual morning text and said thanks. But that’s it. I’m ready to give up on that. It’s going to be awkward attending meetings/parties/events where he’s there but I’m an adult and I’ll just have to deal. I’m a bit nervous about the mediation meeting with the lady I’m having issues with because part of my dirt was telling her about Crush and I...so, there’s also that.
Also, not for the faint of heart...I’ve compiled a list of things Ex has said to me that I will miss. Cue “People who have died in the past year” music…
- I’m gonna fuck the shit out of you (said the first time we heavy petted)
- It seems like Robyn (our mutual friend) approves of us.
- I have feelings for you, I just need more time. (THAT BASTARD!!!)
- I wish you could see yourself how I see you (said during sex...but still)
- At least 4 people have come to me about how beautiful you are
- You are beautiful!
- You look so good right now
- Cum for daddy/That’s my p***y/That’s daddy’s p****y (Sorry, I had to)
- Sometimes you say things that scare me (said when I”m reflecting on how I could totally get away with murder)
- You look like a soft place (Said when describing how sweet I look and what attracts people to me)
Ex continues to be amazing and supportive. I’m looking forward to spending next weekend with him!
So I had a relatively close call recently, with my life ending and all.
Here’s the story, morning glory. So I was at the Applebee’s, by myself, because that’s the place I’m at in my life right now, and I was seated at the bar there. That’s the closest you can get to heaven, I think. Alone at the Applebee’s bar. At age 27.
So, sidebar. I’m a terrible eater. I eat every moment like it’s the first time I’ve been exposed to food. There’s nothing that can be done about this, I wish it wasn’t the case but it’s just true, I eat like a disgusting animal that shouldn’t be allowed inside.
Alright, so I had ordered an extra large blue moon and a steak. And then this couple sits down at the other side of the bar from me. In case you’re not an Applebee’s officiando like myself, their bar is a large U shape. The couple was on the other side of the curve, directly across from me. The restaurant itself was fairly busy, the bar however, was not.
The guy in the couple keeps looking at me. Just staring my direction. Maybe not at me, but AT me, you know what I mean. So he’s looking this way, and my food comes. I cut the steak into pieces that are JUST too big for public consumption but what are you going to do. The bartender at this time is leaning against the bar near the couple, also looking my way. I realize this the moment I take my first bite of the steak. Huge, enormous bite. So I start chewing into this monster truck bite and I get like super aware all the sudden of how gross this is. My cheek is swollen to the size of a giant watermelon, cartoonishly bloated as I chew on this thing. I got like, steak dripping out of my mouth and everything. Disgusting. So then the bartender is doing the one-bite check you know, a little jumping the gun.
“How is it?”
“HRHRK” I respond.
She looks away, completely horrified, and the dude across the way is looking intently into me, seeing the true animal the lurks within. I decide, man, I gotta finish this piece of steak, so I go to swallow it, but the eating process is only halfway done. This thing slooowly starts to go down my massive gullet, but then stops abruptly. I start snorting a little trying to get it down, when I notice I can’t breathe at all. Oh, lol.
I realize at this moment that I am going to die at the Applebee’s bar. I mean I am actually choking to death on an Applebee’s steak. At the Applebee’s bar. And I’m like, starting to panic, you know, I CANNOT breathe at ALL. I make some exaggerated movements and start to tear up, incidentally flail my hand into the mashed potatoes, and now I REALLY got steak juice flowing all over my beard, but everyone is so over my presence they can’t bear to look at me any longer.
Finally, I make this sound like “HURGGGGH” and it comes up a little bit, enough to get it out of my neck, and now all three of them are looking at me, covered in steak-juice and A1, crying my eyes out because I was dying on a piece of steak. And I can’t spit it out because they’re all already so upset, so I just have to keep eating it like a cow with it’s cud.
I finish the steak, tears flowing, as a dude asks if I want another beer.
“Yes,” I said.
By ADAM LIPTAK
1 hr ago
WASHINGTON — The Supreme Court on Thursday announced that it had deadlocked in a case challenging President Obama’s plan to shield millions of immigrants from deportation and allow them to work. The 4-4 tie left in place an appeals court ruling blocking the plan, dealing a sharp blow to an ambitious program that Mr. Obama had hoped would become one of his central legacies. Instead, even as the court deadlocked, it amplified the already contentious election-year debate over the nation’s immigration policy and presidential power.
The case, United States v. Texas, No. 15-674, concerned a plan to allow as many as five million unauthorized immigrants who are the parents of citizens or of lawful permanent residents to apply for a program that would spare them from deportation and provide them with work permits. The program was called Deferred Action for Parents of Americans and Lawful Permanent Residents, or DAPA.
Mr. Obama has said he took action in 2014 after years of frustration with Republicans in Congress who had repeatedly refused to support bipartisan Senate legislation to update immigration laws. A coalition of 26 states, led by Texas, promptly challenged the plan, accusing the president of ignoring administrative procedures for changing rules and of abusing the power of his office by circumventing Congress.
In February 2015, Judge Andrew S. Hanen of Federal District Court in Brownsville, Tex., entered a preliminary injunction shutting down the program while the legal case proceeded. The government appealed, and a divided three-judge panel of the United States Court of Appeals for the Fifth Circuit in New Orleans affirmed the injunction.
In their Supreme Court briefs, the states acknowledged that the president had wide authority over immigration matters, telling the justices that “the executive does have enforcement discretion to forbear from removing aliens on an individual basis.” Their quarrel, they said, was with what they called a blanket grant of “lawful presence” to millions of immigrants, entitling them to various benefits.
In response, Solicitor General Donald B. Verrilli Jr. told the justices that this “lawful presence” was merely what had always followed from the executive branch’s decision not to deport someone for a given period of time.
“Deferred action does not provide these individuals with any lawful status under the immigration laws,” he said. “But it provides some measure of dignity and decent treatment.”
“It recognizes the damage that would be wreaked by tearing apart families,” Mr. Verrilli added, “and it allows individuals to leave the shadow economy and work on the books to provide for their families, thereby reducing exploitation and distortion in our labor markets.”
The states said they had suffered the sort of direct and concrete injury that gave them standing to sue.
Judge Jerry E. Smith, writing for the majority in the appeals court, focused on an injury said to have been suffered by Texas, which he said would have to spend millions of dollars to provide driver’s licenses to immigrants as a consequence of the federal program.
Mr. Verrilli told the justices that Texas’ injury was self-inflicted, a product of its decision to offer driver’s licenses for less than they cost to produce and to tie eligibility for them to federal standards.
Texas responded that being required to change its laws was itself the sort of harm that conferred standing. “Such a forced change in Texas law would impair Texas’s sovereign interest in ‘the power to create and enforce a legal code,’” the state’s lawyers wrote in a brief.
Judge Hanen grounded his injunction on the Obama administration’s failure to give notice and seek public comments on its new program. He found that notice and comment were required because the program gave blanket relief to entire categories of people, notwithstanding the administration’s assertion that it required case-by-case determinations about who was eligible for the program.
The appeals court affirmed that ruling and added a broader one. The program, it said, also exceeded Mr. Obama’s statutory authority.
Over 400 comments to the article with an overwhelming
majority in favor of the ruling – including a Mexican-
of being a stand-up comic. But I have terrible stage fright. Even now, typing this my stomach is tied in a knot. But I’ve watch A. LOT. of stand-up in my life. I love to make people laugh, and what better way to do it? Among my friends I always try to be the funny one. People laugh at the things I say, especially the ones I intend for them to. But I have never felt confident in my ability to write material. For the longest time I didn’t even know that there was a whole process of writing a routine and practicing it ad-nausea until it sticks. Recently I’ve been thinking about doing it more and more after applying the fuck-it adjustment to my life. And today I actually wrote my first bit of material. I have maybe 30 seconds worth of jokes? Humble beginnings. I’m wary of telling jokes I’ve heard from other comics or in a style that is prominent among comics which has turned me away for awhile. But I think there’s a certain style of comedy that just resonates with me.
When I get high I like to watch TV and then over-analyze it and text my sister about it. Recently I’ve been doing this for Parks and Rec. And I thought “this is kind of my bit” but I don’t know how to turn that into material yet. I was also just watching a Mark Maron special today and I really like the self-deprecating humor. So I think an uneasy, self-doubting stage persona would be fitting. Anyway. I actually wrote down the few jokes I came up with and I’m kind of proud. I’ve been a listless degenerate for most of my life who never goes out of his way to do anything and just this evening I took some steps toward something I really enjoy. Hot damn. I even know how I would respond to a heckler. I have one response so far but hey, humble beginnings.
Heckler: “You suck/Get off the stage/etc...”
Me: “Thanks, Dad/Mom. Really glad you could make it.”
When you go through bullshit, you just get tired. You know, of suffering, tired of sorting out which problem requires attention first, taking 3 steps forward only to be pushed 5 steps back. So you just shut down and stop feeling anything but the constant expectation of disappointment. We’ve all been there. Eventually life rolls you over that hump and you return to norm. But what about the people who find themselves wedged underneath the hump? We want to say it was by accident but the reality of it is that the hump just looked way too steep and we didn’t want to put in the effort. So we panic and dig. and dig, and dig until finally plummeting into our real all time low. And you recognize it when you see it because it wakes you the fuck up to life.
That could be broken down into like falling into real harsh poverty, something like ending a bad relationship that will ultimately flip your stable life into the unknown.. Or it could very well be surviving. For some people, they can remain stuck in the mud underneath that hump and they will mostly likely drown. Realistically speaking, they would commit suicide or go into a psychotic episode. Both are okay and both are not okay. The okay comes from understanding what it’s like to feel so low, to experience that grim shit, and understanding that no one should ever be or is ever alone. It’s not okay because people just shouldn’t have to experience such darkness..
You can’t deny, though, that tense situations really do change a person’s heart, usually for the better. Sometimes not. A lot of what helped soften my edges came from realizing that life itself is the longest, God-damned thing I will ever experience. So I better chill out and make it worthwhile. I guess that’s the equivalent to “life’s short, enjoy it, take risks blah blah blah”. But life doesn’t seem short to me; why? I already feel 40 years old, but I’m only 20. I think it’s because I’ve just experienced that amount of bullshit. And I assume the people who see life as short, are the ones who’ve experienced minimally-aged bullshit.. they probably feel young af.
For me, at one point for several months, everything in my life was a negative, and I damn-near died. All I see and allow myself to experience now is the positive beauty that life offers in every day. I’m silly and I laugh at everything. I know it’s annoying but I’m happy. No matter what I’m struggling with, I make sure that there is peace and happiness inside of my heart, and that I emit it. Having a support system is key. It can be donuts, your cat, your family, a friend, your coworkers, or the stranger you passed by 2 days ago; who gave you the softest, most beautiful smile in the whole wide world and you know, from just that one tiny affair, that they survived their own bullshit hump. We make it our mission to spread that smile of understanding, hope, and motivation because it makes a difference. And that seemingly little difference, actually makes all the difference.
i am screaming inside
i love my recent ex, i really do, but she couldnt see a future with me and broke up with me and fucking shattered me…
and then i lost my shit at her because she was like “friends?” but never replied to a fucking message…
fucking bitch makes me feel fucking pathetic.. and didnt take her long to start dating again, her dating profile was re activated and updated a few days later and im in the wrong for being fucking angry…. fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
i suppose its karma… i was a cheating bastard on my previous girlfriend because i want feeling it atleast this one was straight up with me… not like that helps anything though
i suppose i should message the one i cheated on and appologide.. fuck